Saturday, 30 July 2011

Can a Muslim Woman Initiate a Marriage Proposal?

I have read this article, here is some the simplified version.

If a Muslim woman comes to know of a man who has good character and deen and would make a good husband, there is absolutely nothing wrong with approaching him in an honorable way with a marriage proposal.

Some ways that she could do this would be to ask her parents to approach his parents; or to send a message through someone who knows him (for example his sister, aunt, cousin, etc) that she is interested, in order to learn if he also might be interested. She can also approach him directly and raise the subject, as long as she follows Islamic rules of etiquette (meeting in public, having a chaperone, no flirtatious or sexual speech, lowering the gaze, etc).

This may be seen as improper or brazen in some cultures. But that is a cultural attitude, not an Islamic one.

Let us look to the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as our example, since the Quran says, “There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often.” (33:21)

First of all, he accepted a proposal from a woman, Khadijah (RA), who became his wife. It’s true that he had not yet been appointed as a Prophet at that time nor was the Quran revealed; however, he was protected by Allah from sin from the time of his birth. Allah would never have permitted him to accept a proposal from a woman if doing so was in any way shameful or improper.

Consider this incident, narrated in Al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 54:

Narrated Sahl bin Sad:

A woman presented herself to the Prophet (for marriage). A man said to him, “O Allah’s Apostle! (If you are not in need of her) marry her to me.” The Prophet said, “What have you got?” The man said, “I have nothing.” The Prophet said (to him), “Go and search for something) even if it were an iron ring.” The man went and returned saying, “No, I have not found anything, not even an iron ring; but this is my (Izar) waist sheet, and half of it is for her.” He had no Rida’ (upper garment). The Prophet said, “What will she do with your waist sheet? If you wear it, she will have nothing over her; and if she wears it, you will have nothing over you.” So the man sat down and when he had sat a long time, he got up (to leave). When the Prophet saw him (leaving), he called him back, or the man was called (for him), and he said to the man, “How much of the Quran do you know (by heart)?” The man replied I know such Sura and such Sura (by heart),” naming the Suras The Prophet said, “I have married her to you for what you know of the Quran.”

Malaysian Muslim woman

A Muslim woman prays at the Baiturrahman grand mosque in Banda Aceh

As we can see, a woman approached the Prophet (pbuh) for marriage and he did not disapprove of that or criticize her. He personally did not wish to marry her, so he matched her with someone else and married them to each other.

Furthermore, a general rule in Islamic fiqh is that all things are halal unless they are specifically prohibited by Quran or Sunnah. And there is nothing in Quran or Sunnah that would suggest that it is prohibited for a woman to initiate a marriage proposal. And Allah knows best.

It is perfectly fine for you to approach the young man in a most honorable way and let him know your intentions by hinting or being flat out about it, depending upon the noble custom in your society. This is not prohibited by Islam.

Unfortunately, however, there remains a stigma within certain Muslim cultures against a woman’s family proposing or initiating marriage talks. It is likewise considered rude and offensive for the daughter to suggest a suitable man to her parents which, in some cases, is automatically deemed to mean that she is involved in an illicit relationship with him.

Jaulah Jeselton Day 2; Haflah zawaj

Holding uswah hasanah

I stay in Ainil's room. Aina and Zaleha, fifth year medical students fetch me early morning at UMS residential College, kampung CD. Our first agenda is haflah az-zawaj (wedding) Sis Hidayah and bro Yasin. The ceremony was very interesting. We were separate in two different areas, men and women.

Hidayah was shock by the surprise party held in KK. Hidayah graduated in TESL from oz while her husband in engineering. Some of the seniors gave simple speech regarding this newly wedding. One of the advice are, to be patient throughout baitul muslim life. May this spouse granted the coolness of the eyes as Allah promise in Quran. And hopefully their baitul muslim strengthen their steps in da'wa that bring to jannah, isyaAllah.

Nikah in Islam stated in Quran as 'mitsaqan ghaliza'. congratulation sis!

Jaulah Jeselton Day 1

Fadzel's temporary house, we called it chalet in Kampung Kayul

in the bus before heading KK, the bus is waiting for another passenger from the ferry.

A visit to Fadzel's chalet at Kampung Kayul in Ramadhan 2008. At the back was kandang babi.

After Jum'ah, my brother send me to Labuan Terminal, i used speed boat or known as 'flying coffin'. Arrived at Menumbok Terminal after 15 minutes. Wait the 'express' bus for another 1 hour, the cost is RM14 and took 3 hours heading to Jeselton via Kampung Kerukan and of course my Kuala Penyu.

Throughout the journey, i used to enjoy the scenery, as i mentioned before, there is nothing interesting nor beautiful view. It just an ordinary 'kampung', a very uncivilized area (jangan marah) and most of them are abandoned land. Then we can just said, orang Sabah kaya-kaya, banyak tanah ba!

The journey along Menumbok-Kuala Penyu- Beaufort-Papar-Kota Kinabalu recall me the days when we were here since 1994. I can recognized Salehan's home (my student when i had my teaching practical there), his home is a bit change after the renovation. Salehan invited my friend and me to his house for an iftar plus celebrating her mother's birthday. A single mother who struggling towards her kids future. Her face doesnt show her real age, looks older. Salehan's mother keep on saying " cigu' (cikgu), kau tolong la nasihatkan dia, jajal banar ia ni (he is very naughty)"

After the visit, i keep on saying to him and others; "Jangan tinggalkan solat, buat apa pun, ingat mak ayah kita susah". The iftar that day was special to Salehan's family, because they seldomly eat chicken curry and it was purposely made to invite us.

When the bus pass Kampung Growot and few kampung, i remember when i was teaching in class. The class have a very memorable aroma, the sweats smell! I cant get closer to them. Until i asked one boy, "ish knapa kau busuk sangat ni, kau tidak mandi ka? atau kau tidak cuci baju?".

"no teacher, rumah kami jauh ba, saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaana (normal to show or emphasize very far)." Slyvester, a Dusun boy explained. "sa (saya) jalan kaki".

"owh, sorry" shocked. "pukul brapa kau jalan? pukul brapa kau sampai?"

"jam 6, sampai skula ngam2 loceng bunyi (7am)" he explained.

Starting that day, i never complaint this issue anymore.

Before the junction to Beaufort, which is Kampung Kayul, recall when we are visiting my coursemate temporary house. Fadzel stay there for a month during teaching practical. Hahahaa that was scary but this experience cant get at other place.

Nostalgic at Kuala Penyu! i start to take a nap after the bus leaving Kuala Penyu and arrive Kota Kinabalu at 7pm in the massive traffic jam.

Amal Harun

Monday, 25 July 2011


Ikuti kisah perbualan ketika saya mengambil air RO d kedai Lajau.

"aik makcim, malam sudah kenapa di sini?" saya bertanya sambil memasukkan syiling.

"rumahku di sini ba, kau tu satu urang, brani jua malam-malam, bini-bini lagi tu" makcik itu menjawab dan terkena balik pada batang hidung saya hahaa. Khusyuk makcik menghirup taufu fah ditemani kucing.

"malam kelemarin, aku melimpas sini, nampak makcik di sini jua"

"auw eh, mimang la. di mana kan kau tinggal"

"tanjung aru"

"perumahan ka"

"auww, sana sieview tapi masuk lagi lazenda"

"ooo, yang baru atu, berapakan siwanya tuh?"

"900, mahal ba"

"bah, nanti ku bikin lagi rumah siwa, kau tinggal la sana nanti" makcik offer hehee.

"brapa taun kau di sini, apa karja kau, pandai lagi tu kurapak brunei?"

"barukan mau masuk 2 tahun, hehee buli jua sedikit, tapi damit lagi aku di sini, skula pun di sini, mimang la campin kalau bakurapak brunei" saya mula syok sendiri.

"suka kau tinggal labuan?" makcik ni tanya lagi.

"suka ba, bisai. mamaku, beliau sama niniku mimang suka. tenang"

"bagus ba kamu, nyaman ba tinggal labuan ani. kalau kau baik sama urang, urang lagi baik sama kau, jan ta kau pigi kacau urang. jalan pun tenang, nda sasak. kalau di ki il (kl) atu adidi, nda ku tau, damam ba kali, sasak eh"

"bah makcik, batah sudah, berinut ku eh" saya minta diri.

"auw eh hahaaa, kau ani dang, ke mari lagi ah"

Rindu pula mahu berbahasa ini. Dengan syrat tidak didengari oleh kawan atau keluarga yang semenanjung.

Amal Harun

Monday, 18 July 2011

Price of the tongue

One thing that really make me so much stress during teaching in the class is my voice. When i talk too much, i have headache. So talk less. But my voice is not enough loud, then i need to make it louder.Ouch!!!

The worst is when the girls in my class love to talk and the class beside my class make a noise party or try to make the class havoc, and because they had English period which will be more interesting than chemistry class.

I said to the class, can you reduce your talk while i'm teaching you. Use your tongue correctly. Speak beneficially. Then i came out with one story of the woman,an oral cancer survivor.

She was diagnosed a tongue cancer, and her tongue removed. Then she cannot speak clearly. According to her writing, she need to leave her profession as a teacher, because she cannot speak well. She has no more tongue!

My students quiet. After few seconds, i proceed the lesson. "Please speak whenever needed. Silent is the best. Speak something benefits to others or even to ourselves.

My Favourite blog, a tongueless talk.

Amal Harun

Tuesday, 12 July 2011


Waktu antara maghrib dan isyak, ayah buat panggilan. Katanya bosan, saja nak bercakap. Pelik, ayah mungkin tahu ini waktu maghrib di Labuan, sudah tentu dia terlalu ingin bercakap dengan saya.


Kata ayah, baliklah kerja di sini. Johor pun tak mengapa asalkan semenanjung. Permintaan ayah dibiarkan tanpa sebarang jawapan atau harapan.

Saya hanya nak cakap saya rindukan ayah, terima kasih ayah dan mahu peluk ayah. Semoga emak dan ayah sentiasa sihat dalam lindungan Allah.

Tidak tahu sama ada saya atau ayah yang dijemput dahulu menemui Tuhan. Tetapi setiap denyut nadi, seluruh rasa syukur dipanjatkan kepada ilahi, dikurniakan ayah yang baik hati.

sebuah rancangan tv alhijra astro saluran 114. Sebuah kisah benar.

Friday, 8 July 2011

No turning back

I wish to return to this level of life. Being a kid forever. No need to care about life, country or anything. No offense to play whatever games we like. These were captured on the way back to home, LV11. 1 hand hold the car stering and the other hold the camera. I really appreciate this period of time, where i learnt so many thing about life, where i enjoy the time of my childhood.

Amal Harun