Today is hectic day. I personally rushing to settle all my task and while at the same time attending my class. Today early morning i had 1 tutorial with BC4T19. Fikri get me angry once again because bring nothing to class and did nothing. Zero.
After 'letering' and show of my frustration, it continues to the lab the when Nizam keep nagging while i'm explaining in the front. Then i ask him what is the observation for the reaction of primary aromatic amine when reacting with nitrous acid??
When wrongly answered, i said " your kepala otak!!" because of his misbehavior, so what is your feeling when i react back with another kurang ajar. Its like educating by the positive way will give positive impact, but this time negative way also effective, now he know what is meant by being respect.
My did not stop at Nizam, while i'm walking out leaving the lab, i met Kamal. A surau boy, nice look and wearing songkok. So i burst another time by asking him.
"Where have you been last week? during carbonyl. Did you come to the lab?" i ask softly.
"i was absent" kamal answered.
"then, do you have medical cert? give to me"
"saya ponteng" Kamal replied.
Ouch...pomteng? I breath in and continue walking back to menara pentadbiran. At least said, minta maaf, i stay at hostel sick bay or what else reasonable.
If i 'ikut hati' yang marah, i will said "u ambarassing surau al-irfaan" and Muslim!
okay does my anger continues?
When i get mad, i think i easily hungry and use a lot of energy. Mr.Nazri asking me to replace his lab while he attending ISO kursus. Then i willing go there, once again entering Makmal Kimia 1, after rushing for zohor prayer. Mr.Nazri inform that the class is BP3T19. The class where there is son of Almarhum Abd.Aziz Sarikun,a policeman who died in Lahad Datu.
After completing the discussion i dismiss the class and asked a chinese boy, because i dont know the almarhum's son.
I call him and passed to him a not and said" i dont have anything to give you other then this, hope it may helps you"
He look at me and said terima kasih.
"belajar rajin-rajin and doa kepada Allah banyak-banyak" i stop there. Because i was sebak and thinking about my father.
May Allah protect your family and you. I leave the lab with tears. I clean up my anger. Astaghfirullah.
Angers fade when remembering one day i will die, Allah anger more at me because of my sins. To Allah i repent. Die is coming, not dye diazonium salt.